The More Human We Are
Mind, body and spirit...the three are one, yet very distinct. My brain fires randomly, sending a fleeting thought into my consciousness. The more attention deficit a person is, the more random thoughts they have. Those thoughts can alter a focused direction toward accomplishing goals, sometimes very important goals for relationship health.
Mindfulness, or meditative practice teaches a person how to slow that process down, to breathe in much needed oxygen and to focus on the positives in their life. Mindfulness focuses the person on understanding their thoughts and emotions that stem from interaction with others, and memory based events. Instead of mindlessly reacting to a triggered response, the person takes a moment to breathe and become curious about their physiological responses to a given stimuli, until they can understand it for themselves.
Buddha taught us to live in the now. Jesus taught us to not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Allowing some time to observe a reaction to stimuli can put a person in this moment...and when better understanding comes in relation to the triggering event, then the person is more capable of being present in the here and now, and making decisions about how they want to proceed.
I recently read a book about "being in a box" and justifying my perceived righteousness above others. I cannot say it was wholly enlightening as the principle of being "out of the box" has become more of a practice in my life. I do not say that as a way to rise above the "common" masses but simply as an awareness of being.
In order to understand the idea of being "out of the box", we must first understand what it means to be in the box. Being in the box separates me from "human contact". It is isolating, and cold. I am right and you are wrong mentality.
The box is but a metaphor depicting selfish isolation. It stems from mental processing. I must protect myself at the cost of throwing someone else "under the bus". Consider what this metaphor means...throwing someone under the bus means they are the ones to get run over by this object with the ability to crush you. Nice, huh?
The reality is the "blame" is transferred, or diverted unto another person, so all eyes are on them. It is the proverbial "HOT SEAT". The hot seat is the chair a person who is a suspect to a crime sits in while a lamp with a high watt bulb is turned on making them sweat under extremely pressurized questions. Again, nice.
In my box of selfish ambition, I place blame so I appear as the saint, and take myself out of positive relationship with the person I have convinced others as being ashamed. In my lack of mindfulness, I have created more unnecessary turmoil so I might hide from my own self desire to be loved by others by sacrificing another to bear the burden of being accused.
And where has this gotten me? Further away from my G*d. The very essence of who I am spiritually. How easy it is to become fully human and lose sight of what Jesus has taught us, which is to be humble, forgive others, and to love.
Being completely focused on what is happening to me places me in a box, and finding peace becomes much more difficult. I believe we are made for companionship. We have created language around this motivation of wanting to be in close proximity to another person, and we categorize it separately based on the emotional attachment garnered through contact. It may be friendship, or agape, family, or filial, passionate, or Eros. Each one designates the type of relationship we have deemed it.
Emotional pain is often caused by relationship conflict. Sometimes it is caused by actual physical pain. And sometimes that pain is more than what we believe we can bear. Perhaps it's the death of a loved one, or a loved one left us feeling not worthy of their affection. What happens in those moments?
For women, many times, its tears. For men there may be tears but perhaps there is liquor, or fishing involved. Either way there is a turning inward. Finding a way to self soothe. Some may choose to pray to their G*d. Hoping for a miracle to ease their pain.When it doesn't ease, and there is no miracle, then it may feel as if G*d is distant.